Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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