it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
