I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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