Soap is not a condiment
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
