Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
