Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
