I could have mohawked her pubes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
