well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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