I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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