i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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