Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
