so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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