No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
