How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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