some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
