she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
