just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
