We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was born a porn star she said
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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