Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
