Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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