I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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