"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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