I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
