Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
