Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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