Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its not stalking. its research.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
