with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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