Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my being single is dangerous.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
