IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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