shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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