Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
