ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
