Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
