Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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