It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize