It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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