Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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