OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
