He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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