I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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