i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize