im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
