Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
