I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
false alarm. still invincible.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I supernannyed him into submission
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
