u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
