I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
