I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have already put on my inside pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I want a musical about memes.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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