so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
