if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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