we have officially lost it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
