Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
