You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize