I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
