Whod you bang
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
