we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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