Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
