Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
