yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
