I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My hand turned me down
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
