Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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