If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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