the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
