I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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