Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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