There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize