bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
