mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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