super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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