gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
