Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
