Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
