Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
